Correct essay by the following instruction

Correct essay by the following instruction.

I’m working on a Writing question and need guidance to help me study.

The first file is the essay that be correct. The second file is the PDF form of the essay AND WITH THE CORRECTION INSTRUCTION. The third essay is the editorial about this essay.

1. for the essay, the important things need to be improved is:

-research analysis

-get the introduce, integrate, explain, ad properly cite all of the quotes.

-focus on one specific policy and give the detail of the outcomes (you may check the editorial to find some idea, the outcomes in the editorial is more clear, it is helpful to use)

-word choice

-CLARITY!!!!!

-TRANSITION WORDS BETWEEN EACH PARAGRAPHS AND SENTENCES.

– Focus on grammar, have to make sentence clear!

– make “this, them, it” words clear (do not use those words)

– do not have words repetitions

2. some facts in the “Literature review” need to be changed, you can check the “editorial” to get some idea

3. for the “instruction” part need to give an specific policy that need to be improved.

4. for the “solution” part, need to give detail of the solution.(may check the “editorial” to get some ideas, but DO NOT COPY FROM EDITORIAL!!!)

5. for the statistic or the examples that used in the essay, need to give a clear cite.

Correct essay by the following instruction

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